The Showmance: It Can Survive!!
I tend to fall pretty hard for actors, and it can be a problem... Well, sometimes a problem. It almost always pulls me into some hellish "showmance" in which I spend at least a month wondering if he is/isn't into me. Sometimes I fail miserably in my romantic endeavors, and spend a fraction of my post-show depression weeping over alternating cups tea and vodka and pathetically tap dancing to "Forget About the Boy". Other times, The Showmance survives its incipient stage (pun not intended), and, like now, I find myself in a fairly decent relationship with another actor.
Now, I've read a ridiculous number of blogs about how to avoid the showmance, how it's impossible, etc. and in no way do I claim to be a romance expert (this makes me laugh just thinking about it), but I think it is possible to have a relationship with someone you are/were in a show with. And so, below you'll find some ideas I've come up with:
(1) Analyze your feelings: Are you in love with them or their character? In my current relationship, this was kind of a non-issue, since I spent most of my time with him off-stage. In other relationships, where I've fallen for a co-star, I sometimes had difficulty realizing that the guy playing Link Larkin was as far from his character as you could get. Of course, I only realized this after I spent a month wondering why the said actor wasn't texting me, and I'd spent all my spare time playing The Last Five Years on loop ("I'm Still Hurting" is kind of my go-to breakup song). In short: get to know the person, not the character before you take the leap.
(2) If your feelings survive the "Am I Really Into Him" test, then realize that a relationship between actors is hellish. You won't be working on the same show 95% of the time, and with different rehearsal schedules, getting together is really difficult. Especially if one of you is on tour. It either makes or breaks your relationship, but if you make it, you can survive anything (pretty much). My advice would be to chat on the phone when you can, and be each other's moral support. AND DON'T IGNORE EACH OTHER! It can be super easy when you're both in rehearsals, and you forget to answer a text, but tech week is stressful enough without having to wonder why your SO is answering your texts.
(3) This is kind of general relationship advice, but don't forget yourself. It's easy to become too invested in the other person's emotions, and forget that a relationship is made of two separate people. Do what's healthy for you first!!!
And that's about it! Do you have any relationship advice for actors? Leave a comment!
"Keep writing, keep acting! Where art is concerned don't ever give up!"
~My Sister Eileen
Now, I've read a ridiculous number of blogs about how to avoid the showmance, how it's impossible, etc. and in no way do I claim to be a romance expert (this makes me laugh just thinking about it), but I think it is possible to have a relationship with someone you are/were in a show with. And so, below you'll find some ideas I've come up with:
(1) Analyze your feelings: Are you in love with them or their character? In my current relationship, this was kind of a non-issue, since I spent most of my time with him off-stage. In other relationships, where I've fallen for a co-star, I sometimes had difficulty realizing that the guy playing Link Larkin was as far from his character as you could get. Of course, I only realized this after I spent a month wondering why the said actor wasn't texting me, and I'd spent all my spare time playing The Last Five Years on loop ("I'm Still Hurting" is kind of my go-to breakup song). In short: get to know the person, not the character before you take the leap.
(2) If your feelings survive the "Am I Really Into Him" test, then realize that a relationship between actors is hellish. You won't be working on the same show 95% of the time, and with different rehearsal schedules, getting together is really difficult. Especially if one of you is on tour. It either makes or breaks your relationship, but if you make it, you can survive anything (pretty much). My advice would be to chat on the phone when you can, and be each other's moral support. AND DON'T IGNORE EACH OTHER! It can be super easy when you're both in rehearsals, and you forget to answer a text, but tech week is stressful enough without having to wonder why your SO is answering your texts.
(3) This is kind of general relationship advice, but don't forget yourself. It's easy to become too invested in the other person's emotions, and forget that a relationship is made of two separate people. Do what's healthy for you first!!!
And that's about it! Do you have any relationship advice for actors? Leave a comment!
"Keep writing, keep acting! Where art is concerned don't ever give up!"
~My Sister Eileen
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